I had a conversation with my son a few days ago, and we got talking about something he recently found passion for. He is only 14 but his mind has always gone beyond his years. During the time from birth to around the tenth-year mark of his life, I was more or less his main caretaker and as present as his dad was in the household, the higher percentage was spent with me. Of course, I never read a mother manual and I am sure I am as imperfect as could be in giving the right dose of everything to my child but I thrived in conducting this mum son relationship fearlessly. I was solid in this belief and I made sure to pass it on, always making him believe that he is fearless, limitless and that he should be unapologetic when it comes to his dreams.
From birth, there was no dummy or comfort cloth or anything that could have added unhealthy attachments and at 6 months, I had the pleasant job of weaning him off breast milk. This turned out to be the first real test that I am totally unattached to society’s rules. I remember the midwife giving me a ‘three day’ patience order and warned me that the screeching for my breasts might seem like a forever symptom.
It was a very clear – ‘Do not pick him up when he cries out’, oder. 'Comfort him whilst he is laying and then calmly walk out of the room'
The orders seemed to vibrate with my set of beliefs and for 3 days, I carried out the ritual with blindfolded commitment. His dad did not handle it well and left the house a few times as he felt cruel to just leave him whining.
My goa was to give us both wings..
My breasts were once again my property and more unattachment went into gear. He was out of the parent nest and into his own. He seemed to have a clear understanding of this as he was always smiling, never moaning and if he did perhaps, consider it once or twice, a static and very fixed glance at him would suffice and make him instantly understand that mama ain’t taking it.
At the age of 5, my favourite peeler went missing and by chance I happened to be clearing his room whilst he was at school and found a sack with a neatly folded blanket, some wood, matches, my peeler and a change of clothes. He had become an avid fan of Bear Grylls and it replaced cartoons most of the time. Toys were never a big thing within the household and he was happy creating stuff from nothing. I waited for his to return from school and I cooly mentioned my discovery. He said, 'yeah mummy, Im planning a forrest trip'!
I had this total trust that whatever he was doing he was always protected and so I let him explore, find his wings, fall, rise and gain experience from a tender age. He grew fond of hanging on trees, standing on his head and making his own bows and arrows. Whilst everyone panicked and warned me of the dangers, I continued to trust.
I don’t believe children are born to be stuck; they are transported to find their feet and wings on this plane and I was the lucky one responsible to make this happen.
He continued to be a fearless old soul and at the age of 12 he asked to leave mama’s nest to be in the UK for schooling. The time apart, as needed as it was, made me even more fearless as I ignored every naysayer’s should be mantra. As heart wrenching as it was, this move proved to be much needed and I took back some life that had to be lived alone.
Jules, thrives in whatever he does and as happy as I am for him to be there, one thing does not vibrate with my soul anymore. So, fast forward to our most recent conversation.
He announced that amongst his bushcraft, rugby and army engineering plans he made for himself, he also fell in love with cooking. I refurbished my kitchen in the last weeks so it accommodates his new art and I watched him being in total love with his space and his food. The days when he visits are filled with entertaining friends and family for dinners and he brings out his mature culinary skills out on display.
I urged him to consider private cheffing and his eyes lit.
I continued injecting him with this vision and softly sold it to him that he should position himself on social media from now.
Then the bomb dropped.
I took this vision to a very high realm, just like I have always done and suddenly he became upset, annoyed and the conversation went downhill. He expressed that I was over optimistic and things don’t just happen. He showed his annoyance mostly because I was aiming at his highest potential and that ‘I believe’ too much. He protected this limitation so fondly, I was slightly shocked. The mind had been clearly kidnapped by the close mindedness around him.
Another conversation we had in the car, totally highlighted this and as I asked him how he pictures his life to be when he finishes school – what car, what type of house etc. He started his answer by saying, ‘Well, I wish to have that car but I know I won’t afford it’!!
This was certainly not the boy I raised and whoever he was downloading this crap software from, will need to be shut down. I am not here to point fingers but the change is drastic and the impact of society’s limitations seemed to have got a grip of this fearless child.
I let the conversation go totally as both of us are fiery feisty and very stubborn and decided to ‘attack’ in a different way. Opposing him at this point would have get me nowhere
So, I decided to embark on a daily ritual of subtle verbal sparklers to brain wash him back to his old self. Putting the volume up on limitless words will automatically rewire the brain, update the software and leave no space for safe limits.
Ju you are absolutely gorgeous.
You know you can do whatever your mind decides right
Please always remember that you are limitless.
Ju, I am proud of you, you are such a great guy, you re gonna go miles in life.
Ju, you are gonna do so well in whatever you decide to do in life.
Ju, you are such a talented young man, you should be proud of yourself.
Ju, your food is amazing ( I still critique him if something is wrong of course!)
Ju, I said to him, one time in the lift, where his eyes caught mine and there was no escape – YOU ARE AWESOME AND LIMITLESS AND VERY GORGEOUS BOY, GO GET THOSE DREAMS! He smiled, blushed a tad and he said, thanks ma for believing in me.
I am a great believer in wild magic and a childlike limitless state. Being humble and playing small gets you nowhere but cockiness and arrogance lowers your vibrations too. You need to find that charming centre, that silent confidence within you that propels you surely and solidly. That place within you that is in the right knowing that you may need to go through some storms or do what you sincerely dislike to get to your goal. That place that knows you are on the right path
So, just in time for this 2017 celebration, go around your house – mirrors, fridge, framed pics and all and write
I AM FUCKIING AWESOME
I AM LIMITLESS
I AM ENOUGH
Words are powerful but the knowing under your skin is even more potent so to make sure that your subconscious is vibrating and not resisting, get into the ritual of sitting with yourself on a daily basis quietly and comfortably and ‘light up’ any areas of the body which might carry some heaviness. Stories that we download from society, family, friends can become ingrained and cause us to be blocked and limited. These resistances show up whenever you try to manifest and they are the little suckers that instigate that voice, that false ego that tells you that you are stupid and you can’t do it. If not healed, life is navigated at this vibration.
Imagine lighting up this thought, that voice, the place in your body that embraces this limitation and clearing it as often as you shower the physical body. This is like opening the windows to let the freshness in and the stagnant air out. By default we veer towards the negative and the the ego takes thrives to take us away from pain towards pleasure. There is no growth in this so a daily persistent ritual needs to be put in place.
Internal showering connects you to your highest self, heals and removes blocks and puts you back in the driving seat. It also forces you to return to that original copy of yourself - that FUCKING AWESOME PIECE OF ART that you are!
With this done, then the words you read daily when you are brushing your teeth and opening your fridge will smoothly take residence permanently
Happy New Year, I wish you the most fabulous, healthiest, sexiest most awesome year ahead
Yours in Words