A roll of emotional fat

I'll start with an analogy

Just imagine for a second, a wooden door in your house.
What happens if heat or some other external element causes it to expand?
The door is stuck and jammed in its frame until it is brought back to its original size. The obvious thing to do is to trim the extra so it fits right into their frame

Now take the body as your abode and feel the discomfort if a part of you had to expand for some reason or another

Here is something I have not done before.

Post before and after pictures of myself in my undies but I need to show you a powerful transformation that took place in only a few days.
This, may I point out,  had nothing to do with some extreme exercise regime or some fad diet

A quick check before we start

This blog will serve you if you are carrying or piled on mysterious weight that will just not budge
It will serve you if you have ticked all the boxes –
Am I eating right?
Do I exercise enough?
Is my thyroid functioning at its best?

It will serve you if you have been through some rough storms and you’re trying to see a way through

It all took place last week but before I relate the happenings, I want to take you back a few steps, so you can learn the history of what caused my body to pile on some unwanted weight.

What I’m about to share will amplify my message; a message that will resonate with many as I am talking about emotional fat!

Letting go is as tough or easy as you make it

Last year was a rough one and it seemed like I was signed up for a series of 'letting go' moments that really took my breathe away. It was as if life looked at me and said,

‘Right you’re on your path but this person, this relative, this relationship, this country, this project and even your beloved pet cat are in your way. You either get rid of them or I will’

And that’s how it went
It happened so quick that it took my breathe away. I didn’t make it easy as I tried to hold on to everything that was being stripped away. To top it all up I was living in a country which never truly made me happy, so heart ache + lack of spirit + attachment = ill health.

Ill health coupled with a fashion statement fat roll around my waistline.

To give this fat roll some credit, I had been diagnosed with a low thyroid a few months prior and the events of the year left me utterly burnt out so Hypothyroid + Adrenal Fatigue = Not much energy for exercise

I kept going but had to really adapt.
Everything changed, what I ate, what I did before I slept, who I met and what kind of practice I could do on my mat

The roll of fat looked like it was getting really comfortable and then it started travelling down to my bum, hips and thighs taking me away from my jeans, skinny tops and of course my bikini! A persistent looking patch of cellulite also booked a space on my legs, arms and belly and I felt like I was carrying something that didn’t really belong to me.

I was that expanded door that suddenly stopped fitting in its frame. And the solution was to bring the door back to its original size, not to change the frame, of course!

Per default, I am narrow and very slim on top with cushioning at the bottom. My body size has always been close to an 8 with the exception of a few life changing events like post childbirth and puberty. My Dance and Yoga training had always kept me in check, so this was what I was used to. I was never skinny but my waist and belly have always been my signature most favourite parts of my body.

This wasn't the case now

This extra layer was certainly not brought on by fried foods and laziness and although I wasn’t ‘fat’ I was miserable.

Then came those very tiring comments and opinions’ It’s the over 40 change!

I never conformed to what should be and I was definitely wasn’t going to start now. I wanted my body back but I had done all the usual things like change diet, increase exercise and so on. I also had a nudge at the back of my mind reminding me that a slow thyroid meant a slower metabolism and exhausted adrenal glands meant I couldn’t go on my usual dynamic workouts.

But I still felt this went beyond glands

Nothing worked so I succumbed to loose clothing and adapting

Going beyond body

Fast forward a whole year to last week

I happened to be on a writing sabbatical - one whole week dedicated to my upcoming book
My main aim was to just retreat and write but on my 2nd day, life threw a curve ball.

Remember I had all the letting go to do from people, projects, clients, even my own son but there was one more chunk

I received some devastating news over a short phone call. A little even mixture of betrayal, upheaval and a forceful letting go, in a span of five minutes.

What made it worse was that it was my own mother offering all of this.
Within a few seconds my body shook so much I had to put my hand to my heart to tame the beating.

Then came the incredible reminder of all that I had gone through the year previous and how the emotions I showed towards every trauma destroyed my every cell. So I stopped in my tracks and even though things were going really wrong, my spirit wasn’t ready to go with them.

The 'Let Go' pill

So I repeated for at least 5 minutes the very powerful words,
Let it go, let it go, Let go. Just let it all go. It’s ok. All is fine. Let it go.

I kept going as if I was talking to a very frightened child and this calm fell upon me. Over the next few days I took these steps, and this is what happened.

Because there were so many things going on, I had to pull the reigns on my mind and see to only one thing at a time

The Power of Affirmations

I continued to repeat the words before I slept, upon waking, during my commute between the hotel and the café, just about any gap I found. The toilet visits became dramatic. There were times I hardly made it to stand, walk and take my pants down.

It was literally letting go on another level!

I started seeing it from another angle and realised that the actual thing that was taken away from me was keeping me bound, so letting go of it started to free me on a very deep level. Asking ‘why’ did not enter the perimeters as that would have got the ego involved taking me on a totally different painful route. I knew life had to snatch this thing away so that I could really move forward on my path

Spiritual Detachment

Then I had to deal with the betrayal as I didn’t want it to settle in my cells, so I performed a Cord cutting Meditation, so I could energetically seal myself away safely from further damage.
We lose spirit when we react to a trauma and even though this time I responded solidly, I still felt a stab in my heart, so I also called back my spirit for a complete seal. This was tough as it involved close family members but the feeling of ease and calm that followed it meant it had happened on a very divine level


Chakra Healing with a twist

Then the body showed signs of surrender and I was bed bound with a rotten cold for 4 days. I instantly realised that this was the overwhelm and I allowed myself to totally be. I slept, wrote, ate, poohed and repeated. My writing became even more effortless and the flow was unstoppable.

I reached a chapter in the book which brought together the Chakras, our Lady Bits, conversations with the body, Touch and some other badass healing modalities. There was a potent sequence that I choreographed just for the book. It involved the use of Breathe, the power of Asana Therapy (Yoga Poses), the magic of Mantra, the power of touch and gentle vocabulary and I believe this was the thing that brought the house down.

I decided to test and tweak it despite being slightly weak and bed ridden.
It was a gentle practice so I knew it wouldn’t exhaust the system. What followed each test was beyond me. It was a mix of subtle joy, ease and lightness. Despite the external earthquakes my spirit smiled inside. I loved it so much I repeated it a few times a day and the feeling grew

I have to credit all the little things that took place but out of all of them I truly believe that the Chakra choreography did the deed.

My writing retreat came to an end and the lightness remained. Upon reaching home I felt different. The heaviness around my belly and legs seemed to have melted away and I looked in the mirror for proof.

So, thanks to my energetic diet, I lost the roll that had been embracing my body in a coating of safety. Compared to a year full of frustrations, this was stupidly quick and effortless.
For a year my mind must have believed that I needed to be safe so it offered a warm fat embrace but when I took a different route and showed that I was just fine and can stand really still in this horrid storm, it moved out of my way


To the power of energetic healing
To the understanding of emotions and our physical realm
To never asking why
and to magical transformations from the inside out



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